Relationship: when you love too much?
When that love turns into something unhealthy, dangerous to our physical and mental health?
Love is the feeling that guides the world. The love for your partner, for your family, but also for themselves, and for the next guide is constantly being human throughout life and project it towards all that is positive and constructive.
Then there is a way of loving that becomes a love too much and it can become dangerous and harm to both mental and physical .
When you want to be in love means to suffer all the time, we're loving too, when justify all the bad moods, bad character, and the indifference, the betrayals of the partners we are loving too much, when we are hurt by his behavior, but we think it is our fault, we're loving too.
In reality, we're not loving at all because we are dominated by fear: fear of being alone, fear of not being worthy of love, fear of being ignored and abandoned, and love with fear means to cling obsessively to someone that we believe are essential to our existence
Love with fear is to put in place a series of control mechanisms to keep the other in the area of your possession.
But what is driving this fear?
From the relationships with parental figures conflicting experiences of violence , fear of abandonment. The origin of the excess of love, there is always a childhood trauma.
Indifference to, or treason will be seen as real threats to their existence. The more you try to be reassured by him and the more he will tend to flee to that, to avoid this escape you will adapt to the nurse, a servant, mother, sister, confidant, from the comforter, from the aide.
No one can love us enough to make us happy if you do not really love ourselves, because when in our vacuum, we go looking for love, we can find only emptiness. Empty that if you do not fill of love for us, the same will attract partners that are dangerous and incapable of love
This dependency can take the form of a drug : why is it so that you feel in a relationship like that.
Initially there is the euphoria, you feel the strong emotions uncontrolled is positive , but also negative , then gradually comes obsession, and addiction, if he mentions any attempt to escape, the more the relationship makes us suffer so much more can stordirci, resulting in withdrawal seizures, real, and many of the physical symptoms of a drug addict:nausea, chills, tremors, fever, joint pain, obsessive thoughts, depression, insomnia, panic and anxiety attacks. With the terror of alleviate these symptoms will do anything to prevent that the relationship dissolves.
To love too not is the love of many men, or fall in love too often, or to love someone in a very intense way to profound, but a means to an attachment obsessive-man, and claim to call love, this obsession that ends up dominating feelings, and actions, and, while recognizing that it is having a negative influence on health and on the balance, and you can't get rid of it .
If you lived in a family environment unhealthy where no one cared about your needs, you will tend to look for that environment to re-create a situation known that can give us security because already known ,in a vain attempt to win those ancient battle defaulted . In addition, you can be attracted from the dangers and intrigues, always in response to something already experienced .
The self-esteem of these people is dangerously low and deep within them, there is the belief doesn't deserve to be happy., you tend to believe having to earn this right. In some of them there is the tendency to depression which seeks to prevent jumping into a relationship exciting, in fact, the good people will live as boring .
Battles for love battles for deserving affection , attracted to those who are in a situation of need, trying to soothe the suffering of others, trying in some way to soothe his own .
The people who love too much are attracted to those who are reliving the torment they have endured and their parents, when they were trying to be quite good at it, quite lovely, quite soccorrevoli, quite brilliant to be able to conquer the love.
Love is like a drug
at the beginning is the feeling of euphoria, of total abandonment. Then the next day you want more. You have not yet taken the habit, but the feeling you liked it and you think to keep it under control. Do you think the person you love for two minutes and you are oblivious to three hours. But, little by little, you get used to that person and begin to depend on you for every thing. Then you think for three hours and you forget about it for two minutes. If that person is near to you, try the same sensations of doped missing the dose At that point as the drug addicts steal and they humble themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love.
Be terrified by the idea of abandonment:
Abandon is a word that is very strong, implies to be left alone, perhaps to die.
The abandonment emotional in a couple relationship re-emergence of the ancient sense of the abandonment of parental responsibility , with all the terror and the void that involves, for this you do everything to avoid to try again the unspeakable suffering. Other people with a different family history chiuderebbero immediately report instead of a person's affective employee thinks that you have not done enough yet.
People who love too feel somehow not worthy of receiving love .
They will do everything to create situations, explosive, exciting and prove to be useful to try another the love.
The torment and the suffering that this unhealthy relationship generates , makes you feel alive, who loves it too .However, it is not the other that in a cyclic blackmail in which the passion you pay with anguish and peace of mind with boredom .
If the dramas and chaos were present in the early stages of the development of the growth of the life, needs, and our feelings had to be denied , by adults, excitement , and uncertainty, pain and frustration will be the feelings of recognised portaranno to feel alive .The suffering becomes unlimited .
Emerges in the observation of the relationships of the couple to hold off the depression coming from a childhood in a family is disturbed, it develops the tendency to love too much, for which one partner cruel, uncaring, unfair, or difficult becomes the equivalent of a drug, with all the features that it brings. To be without a relationship means being alone with themselves, and can be seen as the worst suffering that the relationship entails, why be just a means to rekindle the great sufferings of the past and mix them with those of the present.
More childhood was unhappy, the stronger it is, the urge to relive the same suffering as adults, in an attempt to be able to overcome them.
Why is it so difficult for a person who loves too much to be able do to stop these relationships destructive?
If you try to stop a relationship of this kind , you feel a shock, tremendous, as if a current of thousands of volts to travel throughout the body, rises the ancient sense of emptiness in the bottom where he still lives his terror of a child to be alone, and where to doze a suffering that threatens to awaken .The exciting prospects to redress old wrongs to win the lost love, to get approval denied the chemical unconscious of the falling in love of these people .A healthy person who truly loves us can have an important role in our life until we have learned to free ourselves from the need of reviving the old inner struggle .
This article was written , initially for women, but men can also fall into the trap of addiction.
Love is like a drug: the beginning is the feeling of euphoria, of total abandonment. Then the next day you want more. You have not yet taken the habit, but the feeling you liked it and you think to keep it under control. Do you think the person you love for two minutes and you are oblivious to three hours. But, little by little, you get used to that person and begin to depend on you for every thing. Then you think for three hours and you forget about it for two minutes. If that person is near to you, try the same sensations of doped missing the dose At that point as the drug addicts steal and humiliate to get what they need, people who love too they are.
