Relations (whether in the affective, friendly, or family) are increasingly perceived as a challenging undertaking , a commitment, tiring, a risk.
Why? Let's examine with attention the elements, which help us to explain this phenomenon in the couple's relationship:
The fear of losing your freedom.
the ambivalence, the search for new and better opportunities: in post-modernity, people are more and more oriented to seek, to explore, not to stop, rather than achieved in the couple's relationship.
The economic culture current always pushes us to continue to explore and try, but, above all, to search as if there was a tomorrow for the certainty of a cost-effectiveness in one material and the other one can ensure that this becomes a wall of measurement to make choices or preferences .
We can then say that cmanagement of a relationship then becomes the purpose of management in order to secure something of a convenience.
Often this term as a manager to define a person who takes responsibility commitments by which it is bound , to which he decides to be bound .
Applying this code to the relations men and women, let's see how it becomes different from the work you are committed to their stability and that of the couple.
Becoming all a bit manager of our emotional relationships we do not stay still on a relationship thinking that out there are other possibilities in the sense that our responsibility lasts until the management allowed is equal to the profit obtained ..
Like in the world of Business as well in the relationship between the point and the stop can be less convenient (we are in the logic of ‘he Who hesitates is lost!’ ) not knowing what the best opportunity we have yet to meet in pursuit of the opportunity instead of solidity and stability.
That's why, in fear of losing their precious freedom, without a reason that's worth it , the men and women of today prefer to the relationship, more often ‘ambivalence’ i.e. not choose to leave the doors are all open, and, when the relationships become “inproduttive” breaking them
the characterizations of this type of approaches follow .
The rule of ‘consumption’ applied to relationships: the script emotional at this point follows the rule of consumption: a broken thing – a relationship that is broken – it is not worth to be repaired, given how much effort it would cost, and seen the end of the failure of this goal .
The rule of the “exchange” : If you don't give me what I aspire to , I choose to have other possibilities and to me creo .
If the sea is full of fish’, the first to look for something else again.
These behaviors are equipped with the engine that generates the thoughts , the fear of suffering and self-sacrifice.
Today it is becoming less and less willing to negotiate its own character with someone to grow and mature in a pair. Very often, in the case where you are in the situation to meet someone, you try not to take any risks.
Often when you meet someone you look at it in perspective of what can give us and not what we really feel .
sociologists speak of of ‘relationships with the tag’ made in the controls, to avoid that the other is fall in love too much and it becomes cumbersome.
Altruism was one of the first virtues ‘sacrificed on the altar of post-modernity, and then today, pouring the human side in the legal, concluding contracts with very clear on the rights of the lovers .
The New forms of bonds
in front of this strange kind of love, surrounded by risks and controls to prevent undesirable consequences, in front of the little desire to suffer, to yield to the other, grow with each other, what the relationship can survive? Not sure, love!
This explains the emergence of forms of bonds are less demanding as friends who go to bed together (mix different codes and generating a report type not defined), or the friendships sexual that arise in the network of the social network where you chat, you can exchange the phone, maybe we meet, you go to the house of another, you make love and then disappears.
The ‘not in a relationship’ on the virtual stage
The virtual instruments are well placed in the space of the ‘non-relationship’ typical of post-modernity: the net and social networks provide the necessary vitality to those who like to change: the relationships here can remain virtual and shall not affect the every day problems.
The superficiality , not thickens the relations
The virtual stage it offers the opportunity to enter and exit with the same speed.
In this framework, the promises of the lovers no longer exist; no one expects to be maintained .
In the light of these considerations, we hypothesize how the couple's relationship will change in the future?
Nothing remains , but everything else can stay the balance if we do , if we want a relationship work , we have to agree on it in abandon protections useless .
The will to find the change and see it as a growth of the pair a continuous discovery of the other that leads us to move always stronger because more strong with a wealth of experienced concrete .
